Assalamu alaikum wa Rahmatullah dear brothers and sisters. I should let you know that this would be the last post until sometime in January In sha Allaah due to academic demands at the moment. I actually thought it would be easy writing about mothers and would not demand much but it did not appear so. It was not a problem of what to write but more of what not to write. The nine month burden alone would roll pages; think about the TLC involved after that. It is quite a long post and still only a part of what can be. A mother’s love is truly inestimable, may Allaah bless our mothers both alive and dead. Amin.
The Quran says:
“We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents; in pain did his mother bear him, and in pain did she give him birth” (46:15).
The saying of servitude to parents follows immediately after servitude to Allaah.
“Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him and that you be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor. And out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility and say, “My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood.” (17:23-24)
A scholar, Abu Al-Faraj Ibn Al-Jawzî explained:
To be kind to one’s parents is: to obey them when they order you to do something, unless it is something which Allah has forbidden; to give priority to their orders over voluntary acts of worship; to abstain from that which they forbid you to do; to provide for them; to serve them; to approach them with gentle humility and mercy; not to raise your voice in front of them; nor to fix your glance on them; nor to call them by their names; and to be patient with them. (Ibn Al-Jawzî, Birr al-Wâlidayn).
“And We have enjoined upon man, to his parents, good treatment. His mother carried him with hardship and gave birth to him with hardship, and his gestation and weaning [period] is thirty months. [He grows] until, when he reaches maturity and reaches [the age of] forty years, he says, “My Lord, enable me to be grateful for Your favor which You have bestowed upon me and upon my parents and to work righteousness of which You will approve and make righteous for me my offspring. Indeed, I have repented to You, and indeed, I am of the Muslims.” (46:15).
The Prophet Muhammad may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him said: Your Heaven lies under the feet of your mother (Ahmad, Nasai).
A man came to the Prophet and said, ‘O Messenger of God! Who among the people is the most worthy of my good companionship? The Prophet said: Your mother. The man said, ‘Then who?’ The Prophet said: Then your mother. The man further asked, ‘Then who?’ The Prophet said: Then your mother. The man asked again, ‘Then who?’ The Prophet said: Then your father. (Bukhari, Muslim).
It is related from Talhah ibn Mu’âwiyah as-Salamî who said:
I came to the Prophet and said, “O Messenger of Allah, I want to perform Jihad in the way of Allah. He asked, “Is your mother alive?” I replied, “Yes.” The Prophet then said: “Cling to her feet, because paradise is there.” (At-Tabarânî).
Abdullah Ibn ‘Umar saw a Yemeni man performing Tawâf while carrying his mother on his back. This man said to Abdullah Ibn ‘Umar, “I am like a tame camel for her! I have carried her more than she carried me. Do you think I have paid her back, O Ibn ‘Umar?” Abdullah Ibn ‘Umar replied, “No, not even one contraction!!” [Al-Adab al-Mufrad Bukhârî 1/62]
Zayn al-‘Abidîn was the great grandson of the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and also a renowned scholar. He used to treat his mother with so much kindness and love as seen in the following narration:
Once he was asked, ‘You are the most kind person to his mother, yet we have never seen you eating with her from a single dish.’ He replied, ‘I fear that my hand would take the what her eyes have already seen in the dish, and then I would be disobeying her’. [At-Tartushi, Birr al-Wâlidayn).
For our brothers and sisters who have lost their mothers the best you can do is to pray for them.
Prayers for forgiveness offered by both sons and daughters of the deceased bring great benefits, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “A man’s status will be raised in Paradise and he will ask, ‘How did I get here?’ He will be told, ‘By your son’s du’aa’s (prayers) for forgiveness for you.” (Reported by Ibn Maajah, no 3660; see also Saheeh al-Jaami’, 1617)
Another thing that may reach the deceased is sadaqah (charity) given on his/her behalf, because ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) reported that a man said to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “My mother has passed away, and if she could have spoken, she would have given something in charity. Will she receive a reward if I give something on her behalf?” He said, “Yes.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, Fath, 1388)
Sa’d ibn ‘Ubaadah said: “I said: ‘O Messenger of Allaah, my mother has died. Should I give charity on her behalf?’ He said, ‘Yes.’ I asked, ‘What kind of charity is best?’ He said, ‘Providing water.’” (Reported by al-Nisaa’i)
Other deeds that may also benefit the deceased are Hajj and ‘Umrah on their behalf, after the living person has first performed Hajj and ‘Umrah on his or her own behalf.
‘Abdullaah ibn Buraydah reported that his father (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “While I was sitting with the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), a woman came to him and said: ‘I gave my mother a slave-woman in charity, and now my mother has died.’ He said: ‘You have got your reward, and your right of inheritance has brought your gift back to you.’ She said, ‘O Messenger of Allaah, she still had one month to fast – can I fast it on her behalf?’ He said, ‘Fast it on her behalf.’ She said, ‘She never went to Hajj – can I perform Hajj on her behalf?’ He said, ‘Perform Hajj on her behalf.’” (Reported by Muslim, may Allaah have mercy on him, in his Saheeh, no. 1149)
This shows that it is also permissible to fast on behalf of the deceased.
Another thing that may benefit the deceased is to fulfil their nadhr (vow), because Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him and his father) reported that a woman came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said: “My mother made a vow to perform Hajj but she died before she could do it. Can I perform Hajj on her behalf?” He said, “Yes, perform Hajj on her behalf. Don’t you think that if your mother owed a debt you would pay it off?” She said, “Yes.” He said, “Then pay off what is owed to Allaah, for Allaah is more deserving of having vows fulfilled.” (al-Bukhaari, al-Fath, 7315)
If u dedicated sometime to do the little things for your mother who is alive, you can make her giggle. For a mother can not be paid with all the wealth in the world.
Wake her up for salat
Put perfume on her clothes
Feed her like she did feed u (that would make her really laugh)
Make her bed with new sheets
Wear an outfit she says she loves to see on you
Kiss her forehead, kiss her hand
Sit on the floor in front of her and massage her feet
Oil her hair
Put makeup on her (if she will let you)
Recite that “my mother poem” we were taught in school
Take her pictures
Clean her kitchen
Call her on the phone just to say I love you
Make her a card
Write her name on the sand
Try cooking her favorite meal
Tail her around and tell her you don’t want her outta your sight
Cut her nails
Give her the biggest bear hug
Teach her a game and let her win
Take a walk with her
Call her relatives
Buy her something new
Open the door for her
Tell her a joke
Play hide and seek with her
Candle light dinner (she is your favorite girl)
Read her a story
Say a loud prayer for her to hear
Tell her she is the most beautiful woman in the world
Name your daughter after her
Tell her your looks or habits you think you got from her
Ask for her forgiveness
Tuck her to sleep
Slip a note of love where she would see
Do something you have never done for her before
POEM TITLE: MAMAA
Writing about her brings a cocktail of emotions
My words are mere trials to convey accolade
But really no composition would quantify her worth
O Lord forgive me as this ink inscribes
In respect to a mother, a concrete rose
Dear Mamaa, Dear love
You are the prestige that knows no bounds
The unrivaled being of unconditional love
A reflection of Mercy
From our Lord, its source
You are not a painter or an artist I know
But in you I find rich colors worthier than gold
You blush my cheeks with every kiss
Extending your arms to expand my glee
Bringing radiance not even the best painter’s brush can craft
You cleaned me up and put on me neat clothes
Fed me my meals and patiently waited for burps
You were my tutor, my succor and my strength
My mat you would lay and wake me up to pray
SubhanAllaah, Alhamdulillah, Allaahu Akbar I would say
Countless stars twinkle in the sky at night
Friends come and go
Sometimes a brother turns a foe
But only one mother in this whole wide world
One heart greater than the coalition of all
I know you as my mother
And not a poet of writing words
But your love and groom
Has drowned me into writing prose
An effort to express a fraction of thoughts of you
My childhood dreams were to build you castles
And even that would not give a bit of what you deserve
For on this earth I would surely fail in estimating your value
In paradise I pray to Allaah to admit you
With Him is the perfect recompense no castle of mine can be matched to
I know time promises to part us Mamaa
Still in time we hope to reunite in Jannah
Eternity with you, I pray Allaah says “kun fa ya kun”
For mothers that are deceased, may their graves be blessed with peace
Ya Allaah give our mothers Aljanntul –Firdous
Allaah knows best. May He forgive the shortcomings of this post. Amin.