Who is deserving of your love muslimah? Call him the last man standing, the man who waited or the man who proposed with roses or rings.It may be the years of togetherness that matters to you, something about him that no one else matches. I read an article about true love by Aboo Thabit and it made me think. It made a lot of sense and with his permission I include it in this post. In a chunk, the advice is to hold on, wait, and put your feelings on pause. If you’re married then love on in peace, if you are not you have a chance to reform your target (wink wink), pray for a good man and do not let yourself be a victim of infatuation; a feeling we confuse with love. Here is the article.
In today’s world, a lot of young people are afflicted by a serious illness that is even more deadly than any virus or bacteria. It is an illness that affects the heart and will cause its death, if not treated.
This illness is none other than love before marriage, and it is with great sadness that a lot of youth fail to realize that in reality there is no such thing as “true” love before marriage, yes, there might be crushes, infatuations and the likes, but true love? No.
Some people might argue and say, how can you make such a bold statement? To that I reply, love is what creates happiness not sorrow, love is what gives you a peace of mind not worry and anguish but most importantly, love is that which brings you closer to Allaah the Most High, not that which will push you further away from Him and acquire His wrath.
Yet there are a few brothers and sisters, who truly love Allaah, only to find their hearts crippled by this disease, they have apparently fallen in “love” with the opposite gender (before marriage) and can’t seem to stop thinking about them, they lose their appetite, their sleep and become neglectful of life as a whole.
These individuals sometimes regret falling in love and want a way out, they want a cure for this illness, but is there really a cure?
Listen to what Imaam Ibn al-Qayyim has to say:
“And the cure for this deadly illness (i.e. love before marriage) is for the person that is afflicted to realize that this love is only due to his/her own delusions and ignorance.
So upon such a person is to first and foremost strengthen their Tawheed and reliance upon Allaah, and secondly to increase in worship and busy themselves with it, so much so that they do not have any spare time letting their minds wander and think about their beloved.
And they should call upon Allaah to protect them and save them from this evil, just as Prophet Yusuf called upon Allaah and he was saved. And they should do as he did, be as he was, in terms of ikhlaas (sincerity) and remembering Allaah in abundance.
This is because if the heart is filled with ikhlaas for the sake of Allaah, there will be no space left for any unlawful love to be present, rather this only happens to a heart that is empty and has no ikhlaas whatsoever.
And let such people remind themselves that whatever Allaah has decreed for them is only in their own best interests, and when Allaah commands something it is never to cause harm or misery to His slaves.
And let them also remind themselves that their unlawful love does not benefit them, neither in this world or the hereafter! As for this world then they will be so preoccupied with their love that it will cripple them and will cause them to live in a fantasy world. And as for the hereafter then it will cause them to be preoccupied with the love of the creation instead of love for the Creator!
These people need to be reminded, that the one who is emerged in something will never see its ill effects, neither will the person who has never experienced such things. The only people who will be able to relate to them are those who have experienced the same thing but have been saved. Such people can look back and realize how evil it is.”
[ad-Daa’ wa ad-Dawaa p. 300]
Some minds may choose to differ but whatever the case we pray to Allaah to guide us and protect us from all forms of evil that will take us away from Him; even love. The poetry is just some humor for the “husband”. The only one who deserves all the love. You are a rare rose, a pearl and a mother for this ummah.
POEM TITLE: TO HIM THAT MET MY WALI
Let this be a prayer Ya Allaah
That my man you will bless with faithful aura
That I may understand him forever
As we pass through time and live together
In this place of tests, bearing in mind its dunya
Lord, help us relate and live to discover
That indeed true love starts with the fatihah
I pray in this man of mine I find a teacher
Abiding by his rules like that of a preacher
I will stick by his side for I am the seeker
Of rewards and love from this sweet mister
Searching for his pleasers
I will learn sweet jokes and teasers
His laughter would be my sorrows cleanser
I thank Allaah for his creation
As I raise my lids and admire his reflection
Today we do not have to resist temptation
Yes yes yes this indeed is my mission
In his blessed grips may my heart find submission
And may each new day reveal good intentions
That proves we have for long left infatuation
And right in my eyes may he stare at for ease
As I would serve him meals just as he would please
For this man’s pleasure is my release
Even in displeasure my kindness must not cease
This thought felt like my heart was squeezed
Ya Allaah give me patience at times like these
And give me wisdom to heal such dis-ease
And when he sleeps at night
I will think of ways to win his heart
Like bake him cakes or pillow fight
Who says to play is not my right
When this good man has done the rites
I will put on me red dresses and pretty tights
I tell you he’s not getting me out of his sight
Lord for this man I have so much love
I will cherish him like a rare white dove
He is my gift from You above
The reason why from his side I won’t move
In sha Allaah our problems You will solve
No third parties shall we dare involve
Within our home differences shall dissolve
Now it’s halal for your eyes to screen my being
These five fingers can all have your rings
For you I can be adorned in bling-blings
Say the right words do all the right things
We are free from wrath for this is not a fling
SubhanAllah we can have our buds spring
A little prince and princess that would make you my king
The prophet (SAW) said “you have seen nothing like marriage for increasing the love between two people” Al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 921