A’eesha BL

Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barkatuh. How do you reply someone that calls you a killer when you know very well you have not killed anyone.

The muslims of today have no doubt heard so much of this as regards the ruthless killings and crisis going on. At first I answered every question and whenever I did convince someone on the rulings and meaning of jihad I realise I needed to do more. To fight the war on the field I have to win my heart over so the actual determining battle is within me.

Our Prophet (S.A.W) said that Nafs is our greatest enemy. When Sahabas came back from physical Jihad the Prophet (S.A.W) advised them that now their greater Jihad is against their Nafs.

Along with our souls, Allah (SWT) has placed within us something called the ‘nafs’ or the ‘self’, which propels our evil passions, our relish for food and other sensual gratification. It also keeps us occupied with worldly indulgence and makes us slaves to our desires thus preventing us from following the orders of Allah (SWT).

Its is a selfish thing and if the nafs is not pure, the shaytan enters and pulls it towards his evil intentions and over time the soul becomes weaker and weaker and eventually starts receiving orders from shaytans directly.

Those who cannot fight against these passions and are unable to bring them under their control may find themselves the servants of nafs or evil passions and thus moving away from the righteous path.

“But as for he who feared the standing before his Lord and restrained the soul from (his) desire, then indeed, Paradise will be his refuge.” (79:40-41).

Taken from ‘Ihya โ€˜Ulum ad-Din’ (The Revival of the Religious Sciences): God has armed soldiers which He has placed in the hearts and the souls and others of His worlds, and none knows their true nature and actual number except He. He proceeds to explain that the limbs of the body, the five senses, will instinct and the emotive and intellective powers are among those soldiers. Know that the two soldiers of anger and sexual passion can be guided by the heart completely or on the other hand disobey and rebel against it completely, until they enslave it. Therein lies the death of the heart and the termination of its journey towards eternal happiness.

The heart has other soldiers: knowledge, wisdom and reflection whose help it seeks by right, for they are the Party of God against the other two who belong to the party of shaytan.

The thoughts that stir oneโ€™s desire are of two kinds: praiseworthy, and that is called “intuition”, and blameworthy, and that is called “whispering” (waswasa). The heart is owned mutually by a shaytan and an angel. The angel stands for a creature which God has created for the overflowing of benefit, the bestowing of knowledge, the unveiling of truth, the promise of reward, and the ordering of the good. The shaytan stands for a creature whose business is to be against all this. Whispering against intuition, shaytan against angel, success against disappointment.

The Prophet SAW said: “There is none among you in whom there is not a devil” They said: “Even in you, O Messenger of God?!” He said: “Even in me, but God helped me to overcome him and he has submitted to me, so he doesn’t order anything except good” (Muslim)

The mutual repelling of the soldiers of the angels and the devils is constant in the battle over the heart, until the heart is conquered by one of the two sides which sets up its nation and settles there. And most hearts have been seized by the soldiers of shaytan, who fill them with the whispers that call one to love this passing world and disregard the next.

The Prophet SAW said: “The struggler is the one who strives against his soul/self in obedience to God, the Mighty and Majestic” (Tirmidhi)

Sufyan al-Thawri said: “I never dealt with anything stronger against me than my own soul/self; it was one time with me, and one time against me”.

I sat alone, dusk came slowly
The cold war is on
My blood I shed
The clouds were brown
I watched the sun set
My palm, I put on my chest
My eyes, I gazed at the sky blue
For You Allaah, for You I will.

The Adnan calls and something holds me
Every time it holds me
You see me walk to pray
But deep inside I am crawling
I pull up and stand
Push and prostrate
Thoughts distract me
I cast away
Focus and I must pray
Sigh at salaam, whisper Alhamdulillaah
Inside I am panting
The challenge keeps mounting
This is jihad speaking

O heart of mine
You love
You want
You lead me to lust
You are strong and I am just dust
Your wind blows me
I get up and you blow me
Pride and ego let them go
And together we both will grow
I turn humble but your pride lifts me
I push you down but you hold and pull me
I’m on the ground fighting
This is jihad speaking

My beast of pride
I must tame
I fear its growl
It leads me astray
I sit still
But its not at ease I am
Inside is a beast, outside is me
Its canines threaten to pierce my skin
Drowning in lust
Burning with desire
I must gasp and quench
To extinguish its fire
This is jihad speaking

My lips bleed when I slander
Back biting words I must not utter
The gossip came
My tongue dares to spread
The lies untold
At its tip they wait
I’m tempted to say
But on that day its my neck I would slay
This weapon I swallow wags within
I’d rather bleed and heal
Than feed on flesh of men
Ya Allaah forgive me for I have failed
This is jihad speaking

I am dressed
Yet under dressed
Its a shield I have broken
The pieces I have thrown
All over this jungle
Now I search to find them
On the road I walk on thorns and stones
My hijab I must pull over
But society adorns me
These colors, so much luring
I am tempted
But I fear Him
This is jihad speaking

Words like venom reach me
Awakens the anger within me
I look ahead calmly
But its roaring within me
My patience is weak
Fume curbs to unease me
I clutch my head in my hands
Look at my eyes as they turn red
I need humility to keep bowing
It fights me but I’m trying
In anger I should refrain
Let wudu kill its rage
This is jihad speaking

I’m fighting as I look still
My gun I hold to my head
My arrow shoots to my heart
I’m hunted in my hunting
Preying on the predator within me
My sword is stained with my blood
I’m hurting
And He is healing
But still they would accuse me
I tell them I am a fighter
If that makes me a killer
I would love to start within
This is jihad speaking

I sat alone, dusk came slowly
The cold war is on
My blood I shed
The clouds were brown
I watched the sun set
My palm, I put on my chest
My eyes, I gazed at the sky blue
For You Allaah, for You I will.

This is jihad speaking!


31 thoughts on “GREATEST JIHAD

  1. Bgee says:

    Jazakallahu khairan, well written. may Allah give us d strength to fight our nafs n overcome our worldly desires, ameen.

  2. imasuen Efosa says:

    Pple just lavish in valour and allow d material desire of tis canal dungeon called earth carry them to d ebbs of d dark side and they hv so tammed their eyes to see only dark tinz presuming it to be light/right! I still thank God for Judgement day and even if I choose to refuse dat fact of judgement like an atheist bt am sure the world must come to an end cos a big dark room is always subdued by little candle light! Light wld always penetrate

  3. Saheed H Abdussalam says:

    Thank you very much for the great write up. May Allah give u d strength to continue d good works.

  4. AA Ahmed says:

    Oh Allah guide us wt d rightly guided 2 alws think of ur favours upon us & mk us alws ovacome our nafs!ameen.
    โ€œBut as for he who feared the standing before his Lord and restrained the soul from (his) desire, then indeed, Paradise will be his refuge.โ€ (79:40-41).
    Jazakillah kairan

  5. Hafsar Eedris says:

    May Allah(SWT) bless and grant us with pure nafs to keep guiding us to the right path and strive for Jannah. Ameen. Jazakillah Dear. One of my best

  6. maryam raji says:

    Jazakillah khairan aysha 4d reminder. Beautiful write up as usual,greatest&most difficult jihad indeed. May Allah giv us d ability 2ovacome our wordly desires,amin

  7. halima Dalil says:

    You are absolutely right..our greatest battle is within us…conquering ones inner demons!it is an eternal struggle that has been there n will continue long long after us…as humans our spirits are easily misled n weakened..we only have to look round @ what is curently happening all around us to realize the battle has to start from within for every soul…thank you so much Aisha..truely another thought provoking piece.

    • That’s the greatest battle indeed. We have to make sacrifices to prove our faith and conviction. And its not easy. May Allaah help us all. Ameen. Thank u as always. ๐Ÿ™‚

  8. Mims says:

    Salaam!…this piece couldnt come at a better time,just when i’m trying to re prioritize and do away with things i can do without. this is a lil reminder and assurance that it is indeed possible!
    Thanks again Mamby. as always.

  9. Rukayya D says:

    Aisha, you’ve nailed it as usual. This is beautiful, and more importantly, it reminds us of certain things which we tend to ignore, by habit. God bless you.

  10. muinat says:

    โ€‹ุงู„ุณู‘ูŽู„ุงูŽู…ู ุนูŽู„ูŽูŠู’ูƒูู…ู’ ูˆูŽุฑูŽุญู’ู…ูŽุฉู ุงู„ู„ู‡ู ูˆูŽุจูŽุฑูŽูƒูŽุงุชู sis. Dis Iฬ…ฬฒฬถฬฅฬŠsฬ…ฬฒฬถฬฅฬŠ so 1dafully written. May ุงู„ู„ู‘ูŽู‡ู (Swt) increase Uฬ…ฬฒฬถฬฅฬŠ in knowledge ฮฎ May HE grant us ฯ‘ ability 2 carry out ฯ‘ greatest Jihad-Jihad of one’s self.ุขู…ู€ู€ู€ู€ู€ู€ู€ู€ู€ู€ูŠู†

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  13. rahama tahir says:

    JZK. May Allah guide us and give us the courage to control our desires. Ameen. Beautiful write up…..more grease to your elbow

  14. Yakori Moh'd says:

    OMG!!! Berry sister need I say more? I don’t think so. *winks* I loved how you conveyed this debated topic which is causing controversies always upon the word ‘Jihad’. It eludes people that the greatest form of jihad is that upon yourself; self. The battles in which people go out to fight with the enemies/rebels etc, is just a form of Jihad.

    I added a feather to my knowledge with your write-up. Thanks as always and much more gust of gracious blessing to you from God.
    I really enjoyed how you used figurative expressions in the poem. Very metaphorical and assimilative as anticipated of you. Encompassing the lips, beast, words, dress, fighter-killer, and prey-predator. Its an exemplary approach and very exotic, you used tangible metaphors which bought the whole piece to life.

    Restraining and controlling is the greatest of all Jihads. To pesevere and abide by the cravings to attain The Almightys mercy and blessings not that of our desires upon vanity and sensual escapades. Unless if done according to the divine laws of our books. We first should battle these indescrepancies of ourselves which you’d stated and I’d highlighted. That will make one excel his or her deeds and his deen will be purity embellishment of the texts and teachings of our Prophet (S.A.W) as God said.
    Let’s live a good course on earth so we’ll be in finest and the most sacredly magnificent, fanciful and exalted of homes. Life on earth is just a transit to our final destination. May we be steadfast in our prayers to live conforming to laid out rudiments of our deen, Ameen ya rabbi.

    Superbly wonderful love, blessings to you always, adios.. ๐Ÿ˜‰ ..

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