In the name of Allah, The Entirely Merciful, The Especially Merciful.

How often do we look back counting the years that have passed, wishing we had accomplished more than we have now?

Definitely there is a whole world of achievers compared to what we have the same way there are those wishing they had our lives. The question to ask is if we are waiting in patience and trust for the will of Allah to manifest in our lives. How do we deal with loss, illness, loneliness, struggle and the likes?

Quran 2:153
“O you who have believed, seek help through patience and prayer, indeed Allah is with the patient”.

I was skeptical in the choice of the topic, couldn’t decide if it should be “waiting for Allah” or “waiting with Allah”. Knowing that Allah is with us always, while we hurt, pray and recover, it seemed more to me like waiting with Him, as He is here already and will forever be. All the same, I settled with the former and I seek His forgiveness for inappropriate thoughts.

The Prophet SAW said patience is a light. Light characteristically shows us the way and allows us to see clearly.

The sooner we trust Allah, accept our conditions, persist in prayers and strive in obedience, while we wait for our duas to manifest, the more we would be surrounded by peace and positivity. No doubt, Allah placed us in this universe and has catered for all of us. We exist in billions and He has not forgotten any of us. Think about the depths of the seas and jungles, Allah caters for the span of life everywhere, how can such perfected existence ever falter?

The Prophet SAW said “There is no Muslim who is stricken with a calamity and says what Allah has enjoined- ‘Verily to Allah we belong and unto Him is our return. O Allah, reward me for my affliction and compensate me with something better’- but Allah will compensate him with something better.
– Muslim.

Umm Salama was so grief-stricken when her husband was killed. The Prophet taught her these words and she said ‘who could be better than Abu Salamah?’
So Allah gave her the Prophet SAW. Subhanallah.

“Had Allah lifted the veil for His slave and shown him how He handles his affairs for him, and how Allah is more keen for the benefit of the slave than his own self, his heart would have melted out of the love for Allah and would have been torn to pieces out of thankfulness to Allah, therefore if the pains of this world tire you, do not grieve. For it may be that Allah wishes to hear your voice by way of du’a. So pour out your desires in prostration and forget about it and know, that verily Allah does not forget”.-Ibn Qayyim Al-Jawziyya Rahimahullah.

‘Urwah ibn al-Zubair (ra), one of the companions, had to have his leg amputated. While he was being visited by a friend, he said,” If you came to give me condolence for the loss of my leg, I already submitted to Allah with patience to reward me for its loss”. But the guest told him, “I came to inform you that your son fell down in a stable, and the animal stepped over him, and he passed away.”
What would be the response of Urwah at the moment?
He said: “O Allah you took one child, and left me many…You took one organ from my body and left me many organs…O Allah! You tested me with my body, and You were kind to leave me with good health. You tested me with the loss of my son, but You were kind in leaving me the rest of my children”. Allahu Akbar.

While you and I await the answers to our prayers, may Allah give us the grace and patience to wait right. Ameen

Blessed is he who is waiting for release
Counting stones while others count gold
Seeing gems in what is seen as dust
For what has he lost, he who waits for his Lord

Spring with the promise of ease
Watch the same field grow green
Bringing shelter to a place once bare
Indeed Allah’s plans are ideal in time

How perfectly He unfolds the rose
And directs the bees in honeycombs
Day in day out, moon after sun
Today or tomorrow, sure ease will come

In waiting for the sunrise slumber may take over
Maybe we missed the first rays
And the warmth we were after
Still praise Him; for we are the slaves, He’s our Master

Let the weak limbs still call His name
And the broken hearts remain in love with Him
It may be slow, but it is sure
Waiting for His Grace, patient is the believers’ pace

No matter how high the tide rises
The waves relax at the approach of shore
Bringing pearls to coast from the deep sands
So while in the waves of life, persevere in His trust

Just like seasons
Shedding leaves before spring
We wait for reasons
Building hope to receive

As much as we complain about today
Not a hair strand can we make
How much more of our daily bread
But Allah is ahead, our jannah He has made

Go into dawn and remain calm for the dusk
For indeed in waiting for Allah no time is lost
To us it seems impossible
To Him it remains “kun, fa Ya kun”.



May the peace and blessings of Allah be upon us all. Amin.

I plead to go on like the long silence did not happen, hoping this meets you in the best conditions.

Confessions of a muslimah is an attempt to communicate the dying desire I share with so many muslim women who wish to be better in deen practice especially with the hijab. Sincerely, I know a hijab is more than the wrap around my head whose length, breadth and thickness have varied so much I get apprehensive.

It is a complete package attached to this title and is agreeable that it’s an all or nothing deal, but where do I place us the “in between lot”? Today we are here, tomorrow we are there being very flexible with the rules that govern us.

Allah SWT says in Quran 33:59
“O Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks (veils) all over their bodies (i.e. screen themselves completely except the eyes or one eye to see the way). That will be better, that they should be known (as free respectable women) so as not to be annoyed. And Allah is Ever Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful”.

It used to be an admiration for certain things. We would easily stash out that “wanna be” phrase to someone trying so hard and today here we are, a whole lot of women really being “the ideal hijabi wanna be”.

I look at an ideal hijabi with such admiration because I can only imagine how Allah sees her in that. I always wonder how the journey started out for sisters who wear the hijab the way it’s supposed to be worn ideally and routinely.

I am convinced that the reflection of our fear for Allah would show in our limbs and outer appearances someway, somehow. Notwithstanding, we should remember that we belong to a faith that accepts our sincere little efforts and makes us better by Allah’s will so I would be glad to say someday sisters it would be that you and I would do it right, in sha Allah.

Quran 7:26
“O children of Adam, We have brought to you garments to cover your private parts, as well as for adornment, yet the garment of reverence is best. These are some of God’s signs, perhaps they will remember”.

Quran 24:31
“And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty, that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what must ordinarily appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not to display their beauty except to their husbands, their fathers, their father-in-laws, their sons, their step sons, their brothers, their bothers’ sons or their sisters’ sons, women of their kind or their servants whom their right hands possess, or male servants free of physical needs, or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex, and that they should not strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments. And O you believers turn you all together towards Allah, that you may attain bliss”.

Blessings on the ummah of Nabiyy
Elevating our ranks as mothers and wives
Lead me to what my heart seeks
A hijab to please His eyes

It’s not about trends no more
It’s not about scents
It’s all about doing it right
One hundred percent

These fashion adjuncts that tempt me
Plain and simple, O Allah help me be
It’s not in the price
With You Allah, jannah is the prize

I don’t want to show you my hair
Just walk on by, like I am not there
If I exist in Allah’s eyes
Then I am worth more than your stare

I want a veil over me
From my heart to toe
I need Your Mercy towards me
So that my hijab can grow

Confessions of a muslimah
If that will make me frail
I know it’s just a matter of time
With Allah I won’t fail.

What class is it to dress in skin?
The irony is like buying sin
When my worth many can’t foretell
My plea Allah, forbid me from hell

Confessions of a longing heart
In search of you, one day at a time
Coat me O cover of purity
Replace for me now what covers my being